If you don't...

...want to meet someone and you say so; they will make a beeline for you even if you know that they are in another pub.

Smoking

When you say "You may smoke on that side of the restaurant"

It's the same as saying you can have a 'Johnny Cash' in the deep end of the Swimming pool!

Shoe shop staff

If I ask for a size 9, and all you have left are a size 7 or 12, then for future reference, I would rather not 'give them a try.' Call it intuition or whatever, I just don't think they'd fit

Note to self;

Sundays are school nights.

School Nights

Don't go out on a heavy one on a school night!

Don't...

...drink wine like beer.